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Meeting our Needs

Beneath every behavior, there is a feeling.

And beneath every feeling is a need.

If, when we meet that need – rather than focusing on the feeling it satisfies,

We confront it.

We can then begin to deal with the cause and not the symptom.

Attributed in part to a quote from Ashleigh Warner


Everything we do is a behavior.  We put on a coat when it is cold, we wear light clothing when it is warm, we open an umbrella when it is raining, we eat when we are hungry, we sleep when we are tired, we cry when we are hurt.  Everything is a behavior.

Behind every behavior is a feeling.  We feel cold, we feel warm, we feel wet from the rain, we feel hungry, we feel sad we feel hurt.  We feel pain from past experiences and relationships.

Feelings are abundant and needs are our response to meeting those feelings.  Needs must be satisfied.  There are both healthy ways and unhealthy ways to meet them.

Addiction requires satisfaction.  That Need is satisfied with alcohol, drugs, pornography, and gambling.  Each time we satisfy the addiction need, that behavior becomes more and more entrenched until we feel there is no other way to be satisfied.

Overcoming addiction, or Recovery as we call it, requires confronting that need we use to get satisfaction.  We confront the reason for the need, not the momentary feeling of needing satisfaction.

In Recovery, we confront those feelings, new ones, old ones, things we did to others, and things others did to us.  A level of discomfort perhaps, but the open door to healing.

Reach out, let the door swing open, trust that others can help lead the way for you.

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